A Clever Way to Find Free Adult Chat Rooms!

Chatting over the internet is hugely popular. The problem is there are very few free adult chat rooms where we can discuss adult topics. Due to their popularity, website owners increasingly decide to charge for the service. In this article, you will learn how to easily find hundreds of these chat communities, many of which are entirely free.

It has become hard to find good places for adults to chat. Most of this is due to the spread of instant messengers, virtual worlds, and social networks. The few good chat sites available tend to be full or, worse still, full and intent on asking you to pay a membership fee. To most of us, it seems the days of good, fun, lively free places for adults to have an adult chat are gone. Thankfully, there is quite a clever way for us to still find good rooms.

All of the big dating communities offer their members free adult chat rooms. Now, I’m sure you are thinking, “Yes, and these dating sites also charge you a membership for these free rooms!” This is not always the case. Many such chat communities are free, others are free but have limited features for the non-paying members, and others still offer a totally free service for women.

The beauty of joining a large, well-known dating community is you get given access to a huge adult chatting community that has hundreds, sometimes thousands of people using it at any one time. Better yet, their rooms tend to offer users the ability to hook in their webcams. So you could be chatting away in a room and have the ability to click on a profile and watch them on their webcam, too!

The Effects of Pornography – A Conspiracy Against Men

The effects of pornography are more harmful than any other addiction in the world. Porn is the ultimate pacifier of men and prevents them from ever reaching their full potential in life. If pornography was removed from our world there is no telling how many more accomplishments men would be making in the world today. We will take an unbiased look at how pornography has shaped our society for the worse.

A Harmless Vice

On the outside adult content seems like the most harmless of vices. It can be viewed in the privacy of your own home and no one ever has to know. The accessibility makes it extremely potent as you never need to “hunt” for it as there are millions of free sites to satisfy your every desire. The act is not what destroys men but the after effects are what take hold and really ruin your life.

I firmly believe that men can never have happiness in this life and live up to their potential if pornography is part of it. We can hate on the evil of the industry all we want but it isn’t until you see how it harms you directly that you are encouraged to stop what you are doing. Pornography is the hardest of vices to quit as the images and movies are permanently lodged in your mind. Unlike drugs which are beatable with treatment and detox, pornography’s damage can last a lifetime. The breaking point is when you are determined to overcome porn and not allowing yourself to be a slave.

The Real Damage

So let’s start from the real beginning which is right after you are done with a quick session of pornography. This is when the damage starts to manifest itself. Immediately your body goes into a relaxed state like after you have had sex. You release your endorphins and your brain can’t tell the difference between pornography and real sex. The effects are like a fat and happy pig. You lose motivation to accomplish big things in life. Men are driven by women and when you have this false reality you lose that drive. In Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, he mentions sex transmutation as the vital ingredient to success. If you use pornography you lose your drive and large amounts of testosterone. You, in essence, live in an altered state of life and believe that pornography is a true source of pleasure. This is like sedating an animal and you are the animal. You become docile and limp.

The other effects include no skill with women. When you use pornography you are looking at beautiful women. You begin to associate this beauty with a fantasy that you see in videos. Soon enough you begin to perceive gorgeous women as something that is unobtainable and you subconsciously put them on a pedestal. Also, you have no desire to approach and connect with women because millions are readily available in the cyber world. In my experiences with men who are horrible with women they all use pornography and masturbate profusely. If you want to be good with women you HAVE to stop looking at pornography.

In Conclusion

The effect of pornography on men is that it makes us content and docile. If you want happiness in this life than take pornography out of it or you will condemn yourself to an altered reality that is extremely detrimental to your psychological health. Stopping is hard but if you are determined enough it can be overcome by goal setting and execution.

5 Lies About Pornography That Will Destroy a Christian Wife’s Marriage

Award winning Gospel singer and songwriter, Kirk Franklin confessed to being addicted to pornography many years ago. It was a shock to both the Christian and secular communities because most people believe that Christians are immune to falling into sins which have such drastic consequences. For this reason, I’m sure many Christian women wonder if their husbands could become prey to the same monster that threatened to destroy Kirk Franklin’s marriage.

While it’s typical for Christian men to get lost in the deceptive world of pornography, Christian women often can become victims to this very same sin. You may ask: “How can a Christian woman go this far by getting caught up into pornography?” There are many reasons. She:

- Could have been exposed to pornography as a child by a family member or friend.
- Mistakenly stumbled over a magazine/Internet site as a child or in her youth
- Experimented as an adult before or after marriage
- Watches racy shows such as Desperate Wives, soap operas, or other shows and movies with very pornographic undertones.

Being exposed to all these things can weave a web of pain, deceit, and unfortunately a curiosity which causes a woman to crave more of what is forbidden. While many women believe they have good intentions when watching pornography, it can usher them to a secret world that is very difficult to escape from.
Furthermore, pornography is readily available on TV and on the computer; so one wrong click or change of the remote can change the course of your destiny for the worse.

The devil would love to use pornography as a method for destroying marriages and so many other things in a woman’s life because it’s very subtle and seductive at first. Pornography presents its way as an escape from reality, but the problem is that in most cases, once a woman takes that journey, it’s so hard to get back on track. It can grow into a stronghold, (a trap set up by the enemy to keep you in bondage), that constantly needs to be fed. To do this, the enemy provides the following lies. He says that pornography can:

1. “Stimulate and increase sexual desire and passion within your marriage.”
Many times I have found myself glancing at a magazine, as I’ve stood in the grocery checkout line, when I see a headline which says, “Find out How Porn Can Strengthen Your Relationship!” While watching porn might make you feel more erotic, it ultimately causes you to focus on the sexual activity rather than pleasing your husband.

2. “Cause you to desire your husband more.” When you watch porn, you don’t see your husband performing the sexual activity, but some other man with some other woman. Porn causes you to focus on the image of the men (or women) you saw in the video.

3. “Helps you to become more intimate with your husband.”
Intimacy involves sharing your heart, mind, body, and spirit with your husband. If anything, watching porn can destroy the intimacy you’ve built with your husband because you’re no longer sharing yourself exclusively with your husband. But now you’re sharing it with a fantasy that you’ve created based on what you’ve seen in the video or an image. In essence you’re committing mental adultery.

4. “You’re not hurting anyone.”
Yes you are! In addition to hurting yourself by pulling away from God and hindering your relationship with Him, you’re separating yourself from you husband. Why? Because you’re constantly focusing on the pornography, the images you’ve seen, and the sounds you’ve heard. In fact, it could cause you to make unfair comparisons between your husband and the unrealistic men you see. And what happens if your children catch you watching porn? What happens if they get exposed to it and become addicted?

5. “It’s not addictive.” This is probably the most deceptive lie the enemy tells people. While a woman may be able to watch soap operas, videos, and the Internet, a few times without running back to it, each time she views this type of perverted media, it chips away at her integrity. It also gives her a perverted perception of sex and other people. It also puts something in her heart that will eventually draw her back to the forbidden fruit of pornography. It can be just as addictive as crack or heroine.

For this reason, addiction to pornography requires a strong desire to seek deliverance. You must apply action through:

- Prayer for deliverance (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
- Fasting, when necessary (Matthew 17:21).
- Bible study/research (2 Timothy 2:15)
- Outside help such as Christian counseling, and/or a trusted female accountability partner who

cares about you and is rooted in Christ. (Proverbs 11:14)

While watching pornography can be very detrimental to a woman’s family, her fellowship with Christ, heart, and her marriage, deliverance is possible. In fact, Kirk Franklin, who was delivered from the destructive power of pornography, is now a witness that all things are possible through Christ. These “all things” don’t just include celebrities, but they also include you and any issues you may struggle with, including pornography!

Tiffany Godfrey, also known as the Committed Wife, is very passionate about helping to save Christian marriages by encouraging Christian women.

How Pornography Addiction Affects The Sex Lives of Couples

If one half of a couple is addicted to pornography in a monogamous relationship, it is a certainty that over time, the amount of sex that couple will have will reduce significantly (and eventually disappear altogether) and that any sex they do have will gradually become less loving and more perverse or aggressive as time goes on.

Many partners of porn addicts explain how at the start of their relationships their sex lives were breath-taking and about emotional and sexual intimacy but that over time – as their partner’s porn use increased – sex became less tender, more aggressive and far less frequent.

As this happens, many partners gradually begin to feel nothing more than objectified tools for the instant gratification of their porn addict – and totally interchangeable with porn – and cry inwardly at this. Some feel like punching their addict in the face when they are reduced to body parts to be mauled and assaulted during sex. They know their partner’s minds are with the porn images and porn performers they have seen and that they are – in effect – just pseudo sex dolls. They cease to feel cherished as a result. For many, kissing vanishes too – both from sex and their relationship as a whole.

Many loved ones feel that their partners would rather be having sex with “perfect” porn performers and not with their imperfect selves and this makes them feel ugly and undesirable which slowly but surely chips away at their self esteem more and more every day. This is made all the worse when porn addicts ask their partners to re-enact porn scenes they have seen or to act like porn performers during sex. Knowing their partners can only keep an erection if they do, they comply but then feel cheapened afterwards. Sex soon becomes utterly devoid of any real intimacy as a result. Sometimes, partners are not even asked for sex but are just taken roughly from behind. Others are groped whilst they sleep. This is probably because their addict has been watching “unconscious porn”.

As their partner’s addiction escalates, loved ones are often asked to do increasingly disturbing sexual things such as: remove all body hair so they look like the barely legal/ teenage bodies their partners are viewing; engage in S&M and bondage; have pain inflicted on them; have other people involved in their sex (which include “lesbians”, “shemales” and prostitutes); dress like porn performers or strippers; allow themselves to be slapped or strangled and are asked to have rough anal sex – amongst many other things and usually dependent upon what the porn addict has been viewing.

Their porn addicts soon begin to scare them. At first loved ones believe their partners behavior is simply sexual experimentation but soon realise something seriously untoward is happening yet loved ones can still be plagued with the feeling that it is they who are over-reacting and their partner usually agrees – telling them it is they who are “prudes”. Many loved ones do not want to be giving their partners what they often term “the nastier stuff” because it feels like a sort of rape to them but often do not have the strength to say no because they fear their addict will do porn all the more – and this is one of their worst fears as the porn is “competition”. One woman in my research wrote “Porn to me is like him having a lot of different mistresses – all of which my husband prefers to me. My husband has something that I can’t compete with – a never-ending stream of women who will do whatever he wants and ask for nothing in return.”

Often, porn addicts will go to porn for their arousal prior to sex leaving their partners naked in bed waiting for them. This hurts partners deeply. Sex then usually lasts only a few minutes and then the person leaves them immediately after climax (that is if climax is still possible due to the erectile dysfunction issues addicts have due to escalating porn use which is often the case).

The partners of porn addicts become obsessed over time with trying to get closer again to their loved ones as well as doing all they can to control or stop their partners porn use and will often go to great lengths to try and accomplish these things. In the process they often end up abandoning all their inhibitions and do things they do not want to be doing. But even “spicing things up” (like being filmed, photographed, going to adult or swingers clubs with their partners or adding more people to the sexual mix) does not keep their partners attention for long. More is then expected sexually of the partner. And whether the loved one gives the addict sex or not, the porn use never stops regardless how many times a day sex is given. Often, partners find their partners doing porn soon after having sex with them.

Often loved ones will start off being “the cool wife/ partner” by watching soft-core porn with the person, getting them subscriptions to porn magazines or porn channels as well as doing the whole “strip club” thing with them but none of these things bring the couple closer together. Quite the opposite in fact. It pushes them further apart because the loved one is enabling the addicts addiction and sex eventually becomes non-existent. Instead the addict just ends up just wanting to do porn on their own as their addiction progresses and the loved one is always thrown on the sexual scrap-heap feeling like just a room-mate to the person. If sex happens at all, it is usually the partner who initiates it and even then, there’s no foreplay or warmth and the addict has trouble orgasming or simply just staying erect/ aroused. Often addicts will fake orgasm then masturbate to porn whilst their loved one is asleep next to them. Addicts cunningly cover their backs by asking for sex only when their partner is too drained to be able to do it. Begging for sex starts to become humiliating for loved ones.

And so it goes on and on… Sometimes loved ones sleep on the couch to try and get the person to see sense but their addict simply does porn more now they don’t have to think of their partner being in the bedroom. Or the porn addict says they have erectile dysfunction due to being on an anti-depressant only to then be caught by their partner downloading porn and masturbating. Porn addicts end up complaining to their partners about being hounded for sex which leaves the self esteem of the loved one in shreds. This is the same for gay and straight relationships and where the porn addict is male or female.

And yet here is the irony… When the partners of porn addicts are being rejected left, right and centre sex wise their porn addicted partners are likely acting out with 3D games that allow players to “have sex with” performers where they can “give performers virtual orgasms”. If they are not doing that they also have the choice to buy and “have sex with” performer “body parts” (vagina and anus) made in the performers exact measurements. The real life partner is dying inside waiting for their loved one to touch them meanwhile “sex” is going on with a blow up body part and one day soon, a virtual reality avatar…

Pornography As a Turn-On for Fun-Driven Adult Sex

Adventurous couples can buy a pornographic video and watch it together. That is generally a surefire way to end up in bed. In fact, it is usually when couples are in bed that they watch such films. And if the film is a good one they will enjoy being turned on as they watch it. Many couples find that the provocative content stimulates them to duplicate what is being viewed. They are impulsively driven to touch each other, kid around, mimic the sex acts, and swing from the imagined chandelier as they tickle each other’s fancy.

In many countries in the world, including most industrialized ones, pornography is not banned or hidden from view. For example, at King’s Cross district in Sydney, Australia a section of the city is designated to show and sell pornography Sex oriented videos, DVDs, books, sex toys, lubricants, assumed aphrodisiacs, are sold in kiosks and stores. Strip clubs, restaurants, massage parlors and other clubs are available to meet members of the opposite sex.

In Europe, in many countries, and cities pornography is not hidden and thus available for adults. In all the countries there are restrictions to the sale of pornography to children and prosecution of offenders is open and continuous.

In the US pornography is not banned from sale to adults although there is no tolerance on anyone abusing the Child Pornography laws.

But for the purpose of improving the sex life of adults pornography has a place for some. Do you have to be lonely or hard-up to use porn? The answer is No. Porn can be a substitute for sex for many lonely and sex starved adults, mainly men, and for adults without a partner who like visual stimulation for self-arousal.

Finally, let’s examine whether pornography can fit into the armamentarium of the average adult who wishes for increased stimulation for lovemaking. What can porno offer?
As with any movie there is added stimulation by watching real pictures compared to imaging such scenes. Some porno videos actually tell a reasonable story where there is more than just sexual exploitation. So some selection is necessary. Google is a good resource to discover what are considered the best sex videos made in the past few decades.

Beside adding visual stimulation couples can mimic what they see, learn about new positions, empathize with the excitement of the sex partners, imagine participating in the viewed sex, experience sex beyond their own interests, such as gay, bi, S and M, bondage, oral and anal sex, and the use of fetishes. Some show dancing, foreplay that could be stimulating and perhaps above all can act as a stimulus to open the viewers to become freer and lustier about sex.

If you attempt to try out the benefits of sex videos and it is new to you imagine becoming an adventurer and explorer so you don’t take a negative bias into your viewing. An open mind will allow you to gain what might be there for you. At the very worst it won’t have any effect on you and may even turn you off. If so, just chalk it up as another interesting experience.

To determine if pornography may be a stimulus for your personal sex life approach its use openly. It might be a new vehicle for greater enjoyment of sex for occasional use or even frequent use. Remember adults have no restrictions on what they mutually do and prefer behind closed doors. So enjoy the movies and enjoy the sex and know you have taken another step to gaining a new stimulus for sex and love.

by Marvin H. Berenson, M.D. July 12, 2011

To discover new and effective ways to have a wonderful, romantic love life and to become a great lover, my book “Love and Sex” offers frank and wide-reaching information. You will find a truly in-depth look at what actually happens during sex and how to overcome sexual difficulties. By reading this book you can change your love life.

About Adult Intimate Dating and Online No Strings Attached Adult Dating

Gone are the days that one used to comb through bars and nightclubs in hopes of finding a quick no strings attached adult date. Granted, that method still exists (and still works). But online adult intimate dating has many advantages over the “old school” method.

One big advantage that adult personals have over other dating methods is that there is no second-guessing as far as intentions go. If someone is on an adult dating site, she/he is seeking sexual encounters of one form or another.

Another advantage is convenience. You can browse personal ads right from the comfort of your own home. Once a connection is made you can then go out and do all those things both of you have been emailing, instant messaging, chatting and fantasizing about.

And yet another advantage is variety. You see, there are all kinds of people online. And there are as many different types of interests as there are individuals. Some are seeking the good old one-night-stand. Others want to fulfill certain fantasies. Yet others have fetishes that they would not typically reveal. And yes, serious relationships have been to grow out of adult personals sites.

Some specialty adult dating sites include categories such as S&M (or BDSM), swingers, cross-dressers, fetish, lingerie, transsexuals, and more.

Still on advantages, you get to know the person(s) and their interests, to a reasonable degree, long before the actual meeting. You can even talk and see each other live on video if both of you have a webcam. This makes online adult dating much safer than other conventional dating methods.

How do you get started in online adult intimate dating? Well, the first thing is to find a reputable adult personals site. This is essential as there are many scam sites out there full of bogus profiles. The number of active singles on the site is also important – the more the better as this means more chances of meeting other like-minded people.

Most reputable adult dating sites offer a free trial period. Use this to test out the site.

Next, post an adult photo personal profile. It’s an adult ad, so be creative. Don’t be shy if you’ve gained a few pounds or don’t look as you did when you were twenty one. Online dating is so diverse that you can be pretty sure someone out there is looking for someone just like you.

While you’re at it, don’t throw caution to the wind. There are certain risks involved. One risk is health related issues. Another is that you’re still dealing with strangers. But with a bit commonsense and precautions you can have lots of fun and encounters.

Join a Free Live Video Chat Room To Make Cool Friends

In the age of the Internet where everything is happening on the web, a free live video chat room helps you make some great friends. This is a platform where you can meet people from all over the world and know more about them. You can look, hear, chat with friends from across the globe from your web browser. There is no need for any download. You can get access to live chatting. The chat user can broadcast streaming audio and video.

What Are The Other Features?

You can request your friends to come and join you in a secret room. You can have an intimate cam chat or share your opinions or simply have some fun. There are adult free chat rooms and Adult Webcams rooms too. As soon as you open one of the chat rooms, you can meet a person on the other end waiting to be friends with you. You do not need to be afraid that you information will be leaked out. You can simply register by signing up with a username and password.

You can access the chat anonymously. There is no registration fee, no download, and no camera needed to see and hear people while chatting. In fact, you can start a chat instantly. You can meet some great people, control your chat room, get top quality audio and video, and send unlimited messages through free live video chat. This type of chat is a great opportunity for singles and lonely souls. Even if you are simply looking for a friend or finding a date, this is for you. Who knows you may find the person of your dreams here. Some sites even offer relationship advice.

The best part about these chat rooms is that they all are free. Be it adult chat rooms, dating rooms, or teen chat rooms, all are free. Webcam chat is free, simple, and fast. Simply go to the room you are interested in and start the chat. There are some chat rooms which you can only enter if you are 18 years and above. There are also a certain rules that these sites follow. There are certain free live video chat rooms where you can embed widgets in your profile too. You can add widgets from other websites and share them with friends. There are also sites which allow the registered members to watch and search YouTube videos in chat. You can even share these videos with your friends and see their instant reactions.

The cam-to-cam chat is like an instant social networking site which has many features to make your chat experience wonderful. Some sites also offer technical help to solve the problems you may face during a live chat. You could also contact these sites if you have any suggestions or comments to give. What is more, you could also make money apart from chatting at this cam show. There are webcam affiliate programs through which you can earn some extra dough while having fun.

So, if you want to make some great friends, want to audio, video, or text chat, try any free live video chat room. Stream videos and audios quickly and talk to people from all over the world through your web browser.

Better Sex: Using Pornography to Enhance the Sexual Experience

Pornography gets a bad rap, and not without some justification. Yet despite problems with it, pornography in many different forms continues to be enjoyed by men (and women). Since frequent ejaculation is a component of penis health, the masturbatory aid can be seen as conducive to a healthy activity. But it’s not just for solo use; pornography is often used as a way to stimulate better sex for a couple.

It’s not always visual.

When people think of pornography, X-rated videos and pictures are what tend to come to mind. Yet pornography doesn’t have to be relegated strictly to the visual realm. Some couples may find that audio-based porn may be more up their alley.

For example, simply “talking dirty” may stimulate sexual interest in a new way. If a couple tends to use technical terms when referring to their organs or their actions, they may respond positively to getting “down and dirty” with their language during sex.

Role-playing is another option. A couple decides on a sex-based scenario and takes on the guise of characters in that scenario. For example, a man may play a policeman pulling over a woman for speeding. The woman explains the sexual favors she would do to get out of receiving a ticket, and the couple moves forward from there.

Or some couples may simply enjoy having sex while listening to (but not watching) an adult video. The sounds of other couples moaning and groaning may stimulate more than one’s audio senses.

But visual can be good.

Of course, “traditional” pornography is also a worthy option. Assuming that both partners are interested in exploring this together, it still helps to discuss a few things in advance:

- Comfort level. Are both partners equally interested, or is one “pushing” the other? There’s not necessarily anything wrong with asking about it, but partners need to be sensitive and realize that some people simply may not be receptive.

- Genre. A man may be intensely into a pornographic video in which one guy is serviced by a bevy of beautiful women. His mate may also be into this – but then again, she very well may not. It’s a good idea to determine in advance what areas of pornography a couple wants to explore; in general, it’s usually best to start with fairly “straightforward” porn.

- Share. Couples should establish that sharing their thoughts about the porn – whether during or after the viewing – is acceptable and can lead to better sex. For example, a woman may want to point out that the position a couple is using onscreen might be a lot of fun, or a man may want to say that the way the actress is stroking the actor’s penis is exactly the way he likes to be fondled. It’s also okay to continue this conversation when the couple has moved on to engaging in sex themselves. Saying, “Can you enter me the way he did?” or, “Try holding me that way” while in the midst of lovemaking can be valuable.

Experiencing pornography together can lead to better sex for many couples. Of course, a man wants to make sure his penis is in peak condition for the sex that results from this activity, so he needs to regularly apply a top-notch penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil). Making sure the crème include L-arginine is another good idea. L-arginine is involved in the production of nitric oxide, which in turn is essential for keeping penile blood vessels open – an important factor in erectile health. Also key: selecting a crème with acetyl L-carnitine. The penis often becomes de-sensitized due to rough handling. Acetyl L-carnitine is neuroprotective and helps to maintain proper penis sensitivity so that the organ experiences all those pleasurable sensations.

How to Tell Your Partner You Want to Watch Adult Movies During Sex

If you just started a new relationship or have been married for twenty years, when it comes to talking with your lover about the desire to watch adult movies during sex, is never easy. However, in reality you’ll never know how they will answer unless you ask. Instead of hiding it like it’s a dirty little secret, the open communication can improve your sex life and improve other aspects of your relationship.

It’s normal to be worried about your lover’s reaction, use a third-party indirect question such as: “Bill told me over coffee that Linda and him watch channel X while making love. Have you ever imagined watching adult movies during sex? Apparently they really like it.”

The preframe for this conversation is that watching adult movies is a healthy medium. Bill and Linda improved their sex life through stimulating images and auditory enhancers of groans and dirty talk. By asking her if she likes it before you even suggest you’re into it, will loosen up the pressure on you and give you an answer without facing judgement.

If your lover says, “sure let’s check some out,” keep in mind while the movie is rolling to stare at her often. Tell her she is sexier than all the women. Repeat some of the dirty lines aloud as if she were one of porn stars. Guide your lover into the positions. Always stay in the moment instead of becoming fixated on the screen. Afterwards, ask her what else she wants to try. Watching adult movies with your lover is an excellent gateway to more kinky arts.

The Basic Science of Pornography Addiction

There are 5 main brain chemicals associated with pornography addiction and each has their own function within pornography addiction. They are Dopamine, Adrenaline, Serotonin, Prolactin and Oxytocin.

DOPAMINE

Dopamine is the main chemical pushing porn addiction; is a “neurotransmitter” (which simply means “a chemical in the body that carries a signal or impulse from one nerve cell to another”) and plays a huge role in all our lives whether we are addicts or not. Dopamine is, amongst many other things (such as being involved in everything from regulating movement to the control of attention) the chemical that gives us “expectation buzzes”. This buzz could be for the cake we fancy on the sweet trolley in a restaurant when we are still eating our main meal; the chase in sexual encounters; what can drive people to buy lottery tickets; the thrill we feel when we know we are going on our holidays soon or, in addiction, is (in part) the desire for the next fix of the wet, dry or behavioral drug we are addicted to. It is also the brain chemical behind the thrill when gossiping; the rush we feel when we hear a celebrity scandal or when we want to buy a tabloid to read what is on the front cover. Bottom line, dopamine is all about expectation and wanting (as opposed to necessarily liking) which is what can make it an incredibly destructive chemical when it comes to addiction. Dopamine is not about levels of pleasure per se. It’s about expectation and what, for instance, drives lust.

Dopamine loves novelty anything new and interesting… The newest car, game, sexual conquest, movie… A person could have a spike in dopamine just thinking of watching the next movie whilst still watching the current movie. Dopamine is behind the drive for more and more scenes when in a pornography binge and why a pornography addict will keep on clicking to see more and more images or videos as they get a surge of dopamine with anything novel and new. In response, the Pornography Industry has to keep upping the ante with its content to keep addict’s interest and money and why studios like Evil Angel – who specialize in the more extreme and taboo end of the market – are so profitable. Dopamine is also the chemical responsible for the motivating feeling behind the thought that you will be paid handsomely at the end of a rough pornography scene if you are a pornography performer…

We are all hooked on dopamine to a certain degree. Dopamine can give life some of its loveliest and memorable moments (low dopamine levels are also associated with depression)… but can also create hell for us when we become addicted to a wet, dry or behavioral drug.

Addicts have damaged the reward circuitry in their brains and will feel less of a hit with their drug fixes over time as it now becomes harder and harder to stimulate their reward systems and will therefore need more and more of the drug to get the same effect. Feeling less of a hit results in craving more of what will give the addict the same amount of “pleasure” as they had before it decreased… (remember dopamine is all about expectation and wanting – as opposed to necessarily liking – most addicts despise the lives they live when in active addiction yet still go back time and time again for more).

In addiction, new neural pathways are created in the addict’s brain which become, over time, about taking the path of least resistance. The rational side of the brain that understands about consequences subsequently becomes weaker over time too as the neural pathways that once ran the show are weakened as the addiction escalates and a tug of war will end up ensuing between the higher self and lower self. Levels of dopamine always decline over the course of an addict’s addiction career and the ante is always upped to get more as a result.

When you think that the definition of pornography is “Material whose primary purpose is to create sexual arousal” then it is easy to understand how the role of dopamine fits into that as dopamine is also released during genital orgasm as well as in the prelude to the orgasm. The more pornography a person does the more dopamine gets released which in turn reinforces the behavior and means the person not only desires it at some point in the future but requires it. The more porn a person does, the more they masturbate to orgasm and the more dopamine is released which further deepens the addictive cycle. It’s a feedback loop which becomes more and more difficult to escape from. The person then needs more extreme material to get sexually aroused which is when reality becomes the turn off and “boring”.

ADRENALINE

With dopamine in the driving seat of porn addiction, the need for more and more of it will take a person through some traumatising viewing material. With each new brutal or shocking image, the body releases the fight or flight hormone adrenaline to help the person cope with the trauma of what they have just witnessed on the screen.

You’ve heard of the term “adrenaline junkie”? Well that term applies just as much in porn addiction as it does for dangerous outdoor pursuits. Porn addicts – over time – also become addicted to adrenaline and will have to seek out ever more perverse, grotesque, violent, disturbing and illegal pornography to keep getting the same effect – just as adventurers have to do ever more dangerous acts to get their hits of adrenaline.

During this process the profoundly shocking pornography they are now forced to view by their addiction which many addicts would never have believed that they would have ever viewed once porn that assaults their souls can seem exciting pre-ejaculation/ orgasm. Once they have orgasmed though, addicts can now see what is on their screens and are often horrified and retraumatised by it.

And the whole sorry cycle just keeps getting worse and worse to the point that the only taboo pornography left to look in the end – which will give the adrenaline trauma hit addicts need – will be child pornography. When you have reward circuitry that is numb – which is what all active addicts have – the person will do anything to jack up the chemicals they need to feel less numb.

Whenever adrenaline is released in the body, whatever a person or animal is doing or looking at during those moments are burnt into the psyche. This is the reason why porn addicts can be haunted by porn images they have seen long after they stop viewing pornography. This is also the reason, on the positive side, why some beautiful sexual (or other) memories are remembered too. If the heart was beating faster at that time due to the release of adrenaline in the body, those memories too, will be burnt into the psyche.

OXYTOCIN

Oxytocin is the chemical that is released when a Mother and her new born baby are bonding after birth. Psychology Professor Ruth Feldman from Bar-Ilan University in Israel is at the forefront of oxytocin research. She has spent years studying oxytocin’s role in the mother-child bond as well as the role oxytocin plays in romantic bonds. Prof Feldman says “The increase in oxytocin during the period of falling in love was the highest that we ever found.” Prof Feldman concluded that “Romantic relationships can have a profound effect on adult’s health and well being whereas the inability to maintain intimate bonds has been associated with physical and emotional distress. Studies in monogamous mammals underscore the central role of oxytocin in pair bonding and human imaging studies implicate oxytocin in early romantic love… Oxytocin is known to promote trust, bonding and attachment between adults and between parents and their offspring… ”

Oxytocin is also known as the “cuddle hormone” or the “bonding chemical”. When two people are healthily bonding, masses of oxytocin is released and this is what will lay the foundations of a lifetime bond between the two people whether that person is a partner or a friend. It is necessary to keep doing the things which laid those foundations though for the bonds to endure as less oxytocin is released when there are problems in our relationships and it stops altogether when relationships end and this is part of the reason we feel so much agony within ourselves at the endings of those close relationships.

The trouble with pornography is that viewers become bonded – through oxytocin – with porn performers; particular photos or scenes and especially bonded with their porn stash as oxytocin is released during porn viewing. This is the reason porn addicts struggle to get rid of their stash once they make the decision to quit porn. Because of the oxytocin bond, it can feel like a death.

People can become bonded to anything that makes them feel good – from DJs on the radio to the local shop-keeper who makes them feel good by smiling at them. Where good feelings and pleasure are involved, bonding is always possible. And nowhere is that more ironically relevant than in pornography use.

SEROTONIN

Serotonin is often called “natural Prozac” and is released after sexual climax and what makes a person feel satisfied. This is the chemical responsible for men falling asleep after ejaculating and what many porn addicts use (without them realising that this is what they are doing) to help them fall asleep after a porn bender as it relaxes them. The hormone releases a person from stress for a while and why a calmness is felt after genital orgasm. Serotonin is also an inhibitor to dopamine which basically means it stops its release.

PROLACTIN

Prolactin is also an inhibitor to dopamine stopping its production in the body – and is released into the body post genital orgasm and what brings an end to traditional sexual intercourse. Prolactin is the chemical responsible for people who have just had sex desperately wanting to get away from each other.

If couples do not genitally orgasm, prolactin is not released.

Prolactin is also the chemical responsible for what is often called “post coital blues” which is the depression that comes for a few days post genital orgasm in both males and females. When in the “honeymoon mating frenzy” period of a relationship, we remain strongly bonded by high oxytocin levels and quickly overcome our “hormonal blues” (prolactin releases) by having more sex (therefore dopamine rushes).

Often in porn addiction – to counter that depression – porn addicts will begin another binging cycle to get the dopamine flowing in their bodies again and the whole cycle begins again. Depression at this point will come to be seen as a normal state and often not even recognised as even being depression especially if the addict starts taking anti-depressants.

The same is the case with couples in the early stages of their relationships. They will have frequent sex because of the novelty involved with the new relationship (the dopamine factor). If each sex session then has a genital orgasm, the whole dopamine-prolactin cycle will be going on there too and why as the relationship settles in, many people often start losing interest in sex with their partner as the novelty has worn off and begin to drift apart and/ or the two people start to look for someone else someone novel – so dopamine can start flowing in their bodies again because it is at this point that the lows of prolactin are now felt. That is prolactin in action and usually has nothing to do with how compatible the two people are with each other or their core relationship. This behavior is the same in humans, primates, mammals and reptiles because as Kruger et al explain, it originates in the primitive part of our brain.

I wonder just how many relationships dopamine and prolactin has broken up…

Prolactin is another reason men fall asleep after ejaculating as the higher the prolactin level, the sleepier a person gets.